Canadian Grade School Writing Prompts: Part One
When I can't think of something to write about, I go straight to my favorite source of inspiration: a Canadian teaching website, and the dozens of excellent elementary school writing prompts. Visit them at http://www.canteach.ca/elementary/prompts.html. Part one in a series.
What if cows gave root beer instead of milk?
Many, if not most calves would die of malnutrition, decimating the beef industry and bankrupting hundreds of thousands of people. Production of soybeans and corn might offset it for some people, but the devaluation of those cash crops would create a blight upon the industry, surely resulting in famine in many countries (especially India) and extreme economic hardship on the west. Vegetarianism would skyrocket-- many extremists would take it as a sign from above. It would likely take several decades before the world economy would recover, and only after the redirection of focus of our dinners on non-root beer producing mammals like pigs, goats and chickens. Many people would probably have killed themselves by now, myself included.
What would happen if you grew taller than trees? How would this change your life?
Well, it depends on whether you're being literal-- are we starting this growing process upon my birth, or is this something that's happening now, as I'm soon to be 24? It's one thing if I grow gradually into it, but if I wake up tomorrow and find myself thirty feet tall, I'm surely going to find myself in enormous agony. Chances are I'd have to be flown via helicopter to Peninsula Regional Medical Center in Salisbury, or even Johns Hopkins in Baltimore to be given a half mile's square yardage of skin grafts. After recovering (and I honestly can't imagine I'd recover), I'd assume that the media would descend upon my operating room. My family would be harassed, my father would never be able to find another TV job (he'd constantly be known as the TV Anchor with the Thirty Foot-Tall Son), and I'd never be able to return to my home ever again. Oh, and chances are the "operating room" would be a dirty parking garage-- I'd anticipate an infection. Furthermore, imagine it-- I'm thirty foot tall. The military would never let me into the public ever again. I'd be locked up in an underground bunker and they'd do nothing but run tests. And let's not forget, I'd never again get to be with a woman, unless the mysterious affliction happens to strike a similar sized female. But then, what if she's not attractive? Or attracted to me?
I would probably kill myself if I was taller than the trees.
What would you do if You were the teacher and everyone forgot his homework?
I'd fail every single one of them, and not just for the assignment-- for the entire grading period. I wish someone had done that to me, rather than allow me to talk my way out of doing the pedantic, easy tripe that they called "homework." Perhaps some self-discipline would have done me well. They've got to learn from someone that life's not Lisa Frank and apple juice, that there's some goddamned accountability in the real workd. Then, when I think about it, what does it say about me that everyone in my class simultaneously blew off my assignment, decided that I'm not worth the time and that, furthermore, I'm not worth their respect?
I would probably kill myself.
What if cows gave root beer instead of milk?
Many, if not most calves would die of malnutrition, decimating the beef industry and bankrupting hundreds of thousands of people. Production of soybeans and corn might offset it for some people, but the devaluation of those cash crops would create a blight upon the industry, surely resulting in famine in many countries (especially India) and extreme economic hardship on the west. Vegetarianism would skyrocket-- many extremists would take it as a sign from above. It would likely take several decades before the world economy would recover, and only after the redirection of focus of our dinners on non-root beer producing mammals like pigs, goats and chickens. Many people would probably have killed themselves by now, myself included.
What would happen if you grew taller than trees? How would this change your life?
Well, it depends on whether you're being literal-- are we starting this growing process upon my birth, or is this something that's happening now, as I'm soon to be 24? It's one thing if I grow gradually into it, but if I wake up tomorrow and find myself thirty feet tall, I'm surely going to find myself in enormous agony. Chances are I'd have to be flown via helicopter to Peninsula Regional Medical Center in Salisbury, or even Johns Hopkins in Baltimore to be given a half mile's square yardage of skin grafts. After recovering (and I honestly can't imagine I'd recover), I'd assume that the media would descend upon my operating room. My family would be harassed, my father would never be able to find another TV job (he'd constantly be known as the TV Anchor with the Thirty Foot-Tall Son), and I'd never be able to return to my home ever again. Oh, and chances are the "operating room" would be a dirty parking garage-- I'd anticipate an infection. Furthermore, imagine it-- I'm thirty foot tall. The military would never let me into the public ever again. I'd be locked up in an underground bunker and they'd do nothing but run tests. And let's not forget, I'd never again get to be with a woman, unless the mysterious affliction happens to strike a similar sized female. But then, what if she's not attractive? Or attracted to me?
I would probably kill myself if I was taller than the trees.
What would you do if You were the teacher and everyone forgot his homework?
I'd fail every single one of them, and not just for the assignment-- for the entire grading period. I wish someone had done that to me, rather than allow me to talk my way out of doing the pedantic, easy tripe that they called "homework." Perhaps some self-discipline would have done me well. They've got to learn from someone that life's not Lisa Frank and apple juice, that there's some goddamned accountability in the real workd. Then, when I think about it, what does it say about me that everyone in my class simultaneously blew off my assignment, decided that I'm not worth the time and that, furthermore, I'm not worth their respect?
I would probably kill myself.
posted by Smith at Monday, August 21, 2006
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